Monday, August 20, 2007

The gift that keeps on giving

Damien Cox is on vacation until September 3rd, which means that Simmons will have to carry this site on his back for the next two weeks. Lucky for us, he can't open his mouth or pick up a pen without making at least one asinine assertion with no basis in reality.

Today we bring you Simmons' thumps-down from this week's episode of the Reporters:

My thumb is down to Prince Fielder of the Milwaukee Brewers and Roger Clemens of the New York Yankees. Two players who frankly should know better. Fielder, who might be the MVP in the National League this year, gets suspended for three games this year, gets suspended for three games with his team in first place.

He has appealed and will not serve the suspension until the appeal is heard.

Well guess what? They are not in first place anymore because Fielder was arguing balls and strikes.

Jesus. You really have no clue. The fact that the Brewers are no longer in first place has nothing to do with Fielder's suspension, because he has yet to miss a game. Do you even watch baseball? The Brewers are no longer in first place because their pitching rotation has struggled, some key players are injured, they played over their heads for the first half of the season, and the Cubs have played better after a slow start.

Clemens, in the middle of a pennant race, puts the ball in the back of Alex Rios of the Blue Jays. He winds up out for five days, which means missing one start. Well guess what? In that start for the Yankees they were beaten 12-0. These guys need to be in the lineups for their teams for their teams to be in the playoffs.

The Yankees lost 12-0. That means they scored no runs. Unless Clemens was planning on hitting a few dingers, I don't think he could have helped.

1 comment:

Paul D said...

I really hope you guys take a crack at the new Richard Griffin column, that was linked today on Primer.

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