What TEH COX is to MLSE, his Starwipe colleague Richard Griffin is to J.P. Ricciardi and the Rogers ownership. Since Ted Rogers did the unforgivable and fired Griffin's drinking buddies in the Ash regime and hired somebody who can use a computer, Dick has launched a full-on war on Billy Beane's non-union Mexican equivalent, highlighted by his involvement in a moment that makes Flowers and I wish we could take this blog back in time, the nadir of Toronto sportswriting this decade, the one, the only, the White Jays cover story.
Like DC Talk with MLSE, there is much to criticize about the job Ricciardi has done with the Jays. Unfortunately, it comes from a place of such visceral prejudice against both JP Ricciardi and any method of judging a player's worth that doesn't involve chewed tobacco, pounded Budweiser, and well-scratched balls that it is entirely worthless as analysis. It serves only as a cautionary tale of the brain damage caused by lengthy exposure to the horseshit of the Toronto media echo chamber, and of course, to make snarky jokes at expense of same - which is where we come in.
Fortunately for us, Dick Grimace gets to the good stuff first, before finishing with several paragraphs of porridge about Matt Stairs, BJ Ryan, and god the Jays are so boring I'm falling asleep typing this.
Q: Hi Richard.
Love your column. Two quick questions: One: both John Gibbons and J.P. Ricciardi are often criticized by both fans and media. On a positive note, though, how would you summarize their respective strengths? What do they, in your view, bring to the organization from a positive perspective?
Secondly, why on earth would the Jays search this off-season for a shortstop when they have the best SS in the AL? Isn't a guy who makes jaw-dropping plays virtually every game and can hit around .260 for a number-nine hitter reason enough to keep this guy as your starter?
Phil Rossel, Barrie
There's your Richard Griffin target market - people who seriously think Johnny MacDonald is the best SS in the American League. To paraphrase Frank Zappa, the Griffin mailbag is people who don't like baseball writing for people who don't understand baseball.
A: Hmm! They're both good family men and J.P. is a snappy dresser. As for positive perspective on the Jays, Gibbons consistently likes to allow his stars to feel like stars starting at spring training by allowing them to prepare for the season at their own pace. Vernon Wells is usually ready by May. This year, Frank Thomas was comfortable by June.
Apparently John Gibbons is a more effective manager than Griffin gives him credit for, because he's ensured that Vernon Wells has been shitty in April his entire career (.779 OPS, his second worst month!). And the Jays must talk to Billy Beane a whole lot - how else do you explain Frank Thomas hitting .190 in April last year before finishing 4th in the MVP race?
Gibbons is positive, yes. Sometimes so positive that when a pitcher can't help him any more, he makes sure he is well rested for the off-season as with Jason Frasor. Meanwhile, others like Scott Downs are asked to warm up almost every game meaning it doesn't take them long to get loose. He's also positive that nothing can be done to stop other teams from stealing bases against his squad. Extremely positive.
As for Ricciardi, he used to be good as a GM at competing on a budget, but is still working on the "competing with a bucketful of cash" angle. Ricciardi has always been good at signing cast-offs from other teams that turn into solid 24th-25th men on the roster. He's not so good on inking the on-the-fringe free agent pitcher types trying to catch lightning in a bottle. See: Doug Creek, Tanyon Sturtze, Jeff Tam, Juan Acevedo, Vic de los Santos, Kerry Ligtenberg, Terry Adams, John Thomson, Tomo Ohka and Victor Zambrano.
Ignoring Griffin's hilarious canard about how JP was 'a good GM on a budget' - the exact opposite of what he said at the time - the level of contradiction is gobsmacking here. JP is good at getting castoffs to fill out the roster. He's bad at getting "on the fringe free agent types" - castoffs - to fill out the roster.
There are no words.
A then-cocky, obnoxious Red Sox reader e-mailed and called me an idiot and a lout and said that everything has changed since 2004 when the Sox shattered the Bambino's Curse with a World Series win and Drew Barrymore took over the field in St. Louis for the ending of that schlocky movie with the Happy Gilmore dude. Well, I may be an idiot, but I do believe that that formerly mocking fan and his Red Sox Nation ilk are indeed starting to shift uncomfortably in their seats. Melky Cabrera, meet Bucky Dent.
Yes, yes you are. OR at least you play one on the Internet. Call me crazy, but the AL East race might have something to do with the Yankees now not all being injured and losing every close game, rather than the 30-year-old exploits of a light hitting SS and a shitty Farrelly brothers movie (which starred Jimmy Fallon, by the way, a pretty good acting equivalent to Grimace - they both have only one expression and inexplicable employment). God, they tell us statheads to start watching the games.
As for the Jays and their obvious mid-season decision to continue being mediocre, it's all about pedigree. The Yankees that were underachievers in the first half had track records of success. Johnny Damon, Bobby Abreu, Hideki Matsui and the rest all had shown what numbers they could put up over 162 games. The panic took place less than halfway through. But the manager believed and stayed the course. The pitchers returned to health and the rest is history in the making. The Jays, meanwhile, have relied on unexpected sources for their improved pitching and must therefore expect some inconsistency and missteps in the regular season marathon. Roy Halladay has been Halladay and A.J. Burnett has been A.J.
BTW, I didn't link the question because I believe it's part of the Cox Bloc mission to spare you from some of this pain. Suffice to say it wasn't a question and involved sending Troy Glaus to the minors to fire up the team. These are his readers.
The answer lives up to the question. The Jays 'decided to be mediocre?' How exactly?
And the last two sentences make even less sense. The Jays are 3rd in the AL in ERA, 10th in runs. Even DC Talk could grasp this one, even if it took a couple of golf analogies to explain it to him.
Speaking of the Jays talented young pitching, Griff on Dustin MacGowan:
Which means that he would not have had a chance to make an impression as a minor-league starter, and instead would have been buried in Jason Frasor-type middle relief and probably not ending up in the rotation and contributing as he has.
Wow. With this kind of ability to describe a future that didn't happen. Griffin must have been kickass at those Choose Your Own Adventure books. Too bad he didn't pick up any writing tips. Also, unimpeachable logic here - the organization that has put rookies Shaun Marcum and Jesse Litsch in the rotation this year definitely wouldn't have given their top prospect a chance.
Q: Is there a legitimate reason Mickey Brantley is still the hitting coach for this underachieving offence? Or does a hitting coach really not make much of a difference?
Cuyler Black, Danbury, CT
A: A good hitting coach can make a difference, especially with young players.
It's simple. Mickey Brantley is John Gibbons' man. John Gibbons is J.P. Ricciardi's man. J.P. Ricciardi is Paul Godfrey's man. Paul Godfrey is Ted Rogers' man. It's baseball's commutative theory of holding onto your job. Once the first domino is pushed over, they will all fall.
Griffin has a great handle on this because the same theory applies to Toronto sportswriters.
Everybody to the bar!
No comments:
Post a Comment